I haven’t been awake to meet with my demons lately. I hear them knocking, feel them breathing on my neck. They feel so close, but I know I’m too far. In my eyes, they became weak. Only able to live by feeding off the life of a lost soul. They mean nothing to me anymore. I felt them try and make a place within me once again, but my body rejected their poison. The evil I held so dear to my heart no longer has a place there. I admit it, I almost killed me and I gave in one too many times. But I’m still here, stronger and more grounded than ever. Each day I feel my demon get weaker more and more each and every day.
Setting fire to our insides for fun
Collecting pictures from the flood that wrecked our hearts
And you caressed it
Can’t escape it. Can’t even numb it, when Love, raw and unfiltered, overrides everything else. Can’t do anything but go towards it, full force and full of rage. I’m angry. Just crying to let the pain run its course is no longer an option. “I’m trapped by knowledge”
Not sure where I’m.going. Just know I’m going with what I feel within the depths of my soul. Although it feels like a part of me is being ripped from my being, my health is also important. The truth will be revealed sooner or later and it will not be me that will be hurt the most in the end. I’m choosing to be patient and peaceful…until the time arises…my time 🙂
The cosmos are within me. God’s grace forever covers me.
i ask did you ever love me?
you say of course, of course so quickly
that you sound like someone else
i ask are you made of steel? are you made of iron?
you cry on the phone, my stomach hurts
i let you leave, i need someone who knows how to stay.
– Warsan Shire